| I've been so tired lately. It's probably nothing more than a result of my lack of sleep this past month. I've been going to bed around 11:30 the past couple of nights, and staying up until then is even hard. Haha. I'm a partier, I know. Don't have to tell me twice. But yeah, so I'm not your average college student sometimes, but I love to sleep. =) So yeah, I had my first day of school at UTD yesterday, and it didn't really do anything for me. I'm giving it a chance though. I hope it won't be too bad...I must say I have some pretty awesome friends though. I texted my friend when I got released from my first class early and told him that I didn't want to go to the student union alone (because I'm a baby lol), and he told me he'd be there in 30 minutes. I don't even think he needed to come to school...or not until much later in the day anyway, but he did. It's little things like that that really hit home for me. I don't need big presents for my birthday or anything. I need just that, for a friend to be there when I need him/her. I'm so grateful for him. It's so weird how we became so close in such little time. I've known him throughout high school, but we were nothing more than acquaintances. One night, he called me, and we talked all night like we've been friends for years. I have to say it was pretty good timing because I felt like I had lost all my friends or all of my trust in them. I like how things just happen to fall into place sometimes. God knows what he's doing. It's nice to make guy friends and know that they like you not because they have "different intentions" (giving boys a lot more credit than some deserve) but rather just because they like who you are. I mean, there's nothing wrong with boys being interested in me as more than just friends. When they stop talking to me and stop being nice to me altogether when I've let them know that I'm not interested in them in that way and that I just want to be freinds, is where it all goes downhill. If it doesn't work out, it doesn't work out, and I'm sorry. Can we not be friends? While we're on the subject, I feel like I'm a boy sometimes lol. Let me explain. There is something about how guys come on to me that scares the **** out of me, i.e. when they show how interested they are in me, and when I'm aware of just how much they like me, and I am interested BUT don't feel that strongly about them. Timing also comes into play. When I just meet someone, and they're in one way or another coming on too strong, it makes me want to abandon the situation altogether. Too close, too much, too fast. Haha I feel sorry for them. They don't know any better because they don't know me. If only they knew lol. I am afraid of commitment, even if it's just commitment to a relationship. I don't know what it is...In all honesty, I don't know what I want. Girls don't know what they want, just like Holly told Daniel in the movie P.S. I Love You haha. But with that, I am truly a sucker for chick flicks and just want the guy and girl to wind up together lol. Maybe because I'm not the one who has the possibility of getting hurt along the way haha. But that's not right, you have to take the good with the bad. I think every single girl/woman out there secretly wants to find a man like the ones in the movies though. I know I do. HAHA. The secret's out. Well, maybe not quite a man like the ones in the movies but the right man for me, like how each of the ladies found the right man for them. I wanna have that cute, to die for relationship. I want to be one of those cute couples. Haha okay, so reality check. Life is not a movie, but I'm hoping that when I do finally find a guy who outweighs all my doubts about relationships, I'll feel like one of those girls in the movies. I know, I know. Dream on, Michelle, dream on. lol *sigh* I'm such a girl! Well, now that I totally made a fool of myself and made myself feel like a silly little girl, I think it's safe to say that my girly attributes outweigh the fact that I feel like a boy sometimes. So, I'm pretty sure I'm still 100% girl, if not more lol. Finally, I'll leave on this note. I just want to say that there is something about Adam Sandler movies that really gets to me. Even though his movies involve weird, stupid comedy, there's also a really sweet quality in them. If it weren't for that quality, I'd probably hate his movies. He's not the greatest singer in the world, but I love it when he sings to the girl in the movie, like in 50 First Dates and The Wedding Singer. Gosh, it's so cute. I'm absolutely in love with the song from The Wedding Singer. So the girl is leaving on a plane with her fiance, and he's trying to stop her. He comes out from behind the curtains that separates first class from economy and starts playing the guitar and singing the sweetest song. Here are the lyrics. I hope you guys enjoy it as much as I do. =) I wanna make you smile whenever you're sad
Carry you around when your arthritis is bad
All I wanna do is grow old with you
I'll get your medicine when your tummy aches
Build you a fire if the furnace breaks
Oh it could be so nice, growing old with you
I'll miss you
I'll kiss you
Give you my coat when you are cold
I'll need you
I'll feed you
Even let ya hold the remote control
So let me do the dishes in our kitchen sink
Put you to bed if you've had too much to drink
I could be the man who grows old with you
I wanna grow old with you |
